


Dizzy On The Comedown

by ailurodelrey



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Bottom Richie Tozier, Bullying, Canon-Typical Violence, Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, I like writing fluff more tbh, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Violence, Richie Tozier Gets Beat Up, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Top Eddie Kaspbrak, Violence, also, as always, eddie deserves to top cant change my mind, no smut in this, obviously, they just have that energy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24672358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailurodelrey/pseuds/ailurodelrey
Summary: Every damn time, Richie runs away from this one problem and never faces it head on. Eddie is DONE.(on hiatus)
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 11
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspiration: "Dizzy On The Comedown" By Turnover  
> plz listen to the song its amazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins...

"Come on, Eds! We're almost there!" Richie sprung up with glee as they came closer to reaching the hill covered in bright green grass. Running behind his friend, Eddie couldn't help but notice how softly the sunset mixed with pink and orange had silhouetted Richie's figure. His silly dark curls bobbed up and down in rhythm with his running.

Eddie always found Richie very peculiar... and strangely alluring. Not like anyone he had met before, such a big mouth and rough or playful exterior, yet he had this ability to be so sweet and gentle for only one person as far as Eddie knew. Maybe that appeared basic, but you didn't meet many people like that in Derry. 

**~~~**

_He could recall the night they had a sleepover on Eddie's fourteenth birthday; The Losers Club spent the night at Bill's house and stayed up till early twilight. Eddie and Richie were the last remaining awake, once Richie knew everyone had fallen asleep he became much more cuddly and had toned down the jokes. Leaning on Eddie's shoulder and hugging his arm, Richie told him, "I'm surprised you aren't screaming at me for touching you with my infectious germs," with little intent on Eddie to take it jokingly._

_Rolling his eyes, Eddie assured, "We swam in sewage water, Richie. You hugging my arm isn't going to bother me, even though you weigh as much as a horse."_

_"It doesn't bother you?" Richie peered at his friend with vulnerable doe eyes that he wouldn't dare share with any other soul. The look he gave Eddie... it's like he was anxious and flighty at the same time, as if he expected his friend to push him away._

_"No, it's actually comfy. I like it." How could Eddie crush the heart of that face? Normally he would probably tell Richie that he thought it was a bit too touchy, but now would just be cruel. Plus, he did take a liking to it. He didn't feel suffocated being around Richie, but he didn't feel too distant either. Not that he has an interest in telling anyone these thoughts. The relieved smile Richie had was faint, but Eddie could tell a huge weight had been lifted from the boy's shoulders. If only Eddie knew why Richie was so concerned..._

_It took a while, but they fell asleep in each other's arms, waking up to the rest of the group lightly poking fun at them. Unfortunately, it caused Richie to go home early, possibly from embarrassment. Or maybe he had something hidden away, and his fight or flight response chose the ladder._

**~~~**

The utter euphoria they felt once finally reaching the top of the hill was almost dream-like. Beautiful, pink skies, soft green grass, a very soft breeze hitting their cheeks ever so soundly.

"Helloooo? Earth to Edward!" Richie drawled, waving his hand in front of Eddie's face. "Don't fall asleep, I don't feel like carrying you home."

Eddie sighed, "What a way to ruin the moment,"

"Ah, the exact words your mom let out when I moaned someone else's name!" 

Eddie's brows furrowed in mild anger, continuing to push Richie which led to playful wrestling on the grass. Of course, Richie didn't put up much of a fight against his friend like usual. For a reason unknown, he didn’t like to have all control over things. Maybe it made him feel too anxious, or maybe it was just in his blood to stay away from being a leader, no matter how much the idea had been shoved down his throat. He would only be in control when he felt it was necessary. And he never liked trying to be controlling over Eddie, seeing as how he already has to deal with his mother doing that. When Eddie had the chance to lead the group he seemed… happier. More energetic. It would be wrong to try and strip that tiny bit of freedom away, regardless if Richie actually could or not. It kind of felt like a perfect match for them to be friends. Richie didn’t have to act like someone he wasn’t, while Eddie got to be free. 

They rolled down the hill laughing hysterically during their quarrel. It ended with them at the bottom, dizzy and still holding each other, Eddie being on top of Richie as the taller boy lay on the grass and trying to regain his composure. Eddie, having his own composure back already, had the chance to look at his friend beneath him. All he heard was the breathless laugh of Richie’s, his brain blocking out anything else that might have rung through his ears normally. While his eyes were shut tight joyously with his glasses knocked partially off, a big goofy smile, Eddie noticed how long and droopy Richie's eyelashes were, how here and there you saw a beauty mark on his cheek or forehead. Those messy curls had somehow become even messier, with a few leaves and some dirt that had been picked up off the ground while they were tumbling down the hill.

Finally, he opened his eyes, revealing amber rings illuminated by the dim sunlight. Eddie had always heard that blue eyes were the prettiest, but he found that this particular set was the most gorgeous he'd ever seen. Should he be thinking this way about another boy?

"Eddie? You okay there, bud?" Richie laughed nervously, becoming increasingly more intimidated by his friend's staring. Was something wrong? Did he make Eddie uncomfortable? Damn, not again... now he was starting to panic. Eddie shook his head, most likely trying to clear his mind. He replied, "Yeah, I just spaced out."

"...On my face?" Richie asked with a grin growing on his cheeks. 

"No!"

"Ohhh, I see. Staring at my beauty?" Richie said, following it up by making a dopey face which caused Eddie to giggle. "Beauty, huh? Whatever you wanna call it, Rich."

Far away, footsteps made their way over to the boys. In a rush, Richie pushed Eddie off and stood up to see who it was, completely changing his demeanor. It was only a couple holding hands while walking down the street, they hadn't even looked at the boys. He sighed with relief, forgetting for a minute that Eddie was right there. Of course, he questioned with annoyance, "What was that about?"

"What are you talking about?" Richie asked, forcing his voice back down to a cold, low pitch. Much unlike his chirpy one from before. 

Eddie frowned at that. In a frustrated bark he said, "You're acting weird again! Whenever you think someone is watching us you act all different." Suddenly, the air had turned thick and heavy, even louder than it was only moments ago.

"Pfft, what have you been smoking?" Richie tried desperately to play it off. In a panic, he said, “Oh! My mom wants me to come home before dark, I have to go.” 

His friend, however, wasn’t going to keep putting up with this nonsense. Eddie grabbed hold of Richie’s jacket sleeve, pulling him back. He asked, “It’s not even close to dark, why do you always leave like this?!” There was no venom to his words, only curiosity. 

Richie’s heart stopped, like the wind and air fleeted both from around him and from his lungs. He felt sweat drip down his flushed face, tears painfully tugging at the corners of his eyes. Quickly, he tore his arm away and started to run, not knowing what else to do. 

_Don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look back,_ he repeated over and over under his breath. Maybe if he kept running, he could get away from his sick thoughts. The thoughts that had tormented him for years. But he knew he could never really get away, no matter how far he ran. He didn’t even know where he was going at this point. 

Memories flooded to the top of his head. He remembers doing this same thing before…

_“What the hell is going on?” Richie asked himself, turning the street corner to peek at the situation. He had heard fighting from far away, wondering just what was happening._

_He was horrified at the sight. A gay couple that was well known around town, being brutally beaten by a group of teenage boys. He saw the blood pooling on the ground around the lovers, sending chills through his blood._

_For some reason, he decided to be brave. Throwing a rock to get their attention, he yelled at the abusers, “Hey! Why don’t you guys go fuck with someone else?” They all turned to face him, making Richie grow stiff. One of the teenagers spoke to the rest, and they finally let the couple free. But in return, they began to run over to Richie._

_“Shit, shit, SHIT.” Turning on his heel, he hoped that the couple had time to go home while these jackasses were chasing Richie and shouting slurs at him._

_Never had he felt so scared, if they caught him he would NOT have even the slightest chance of making it out alive. Fourteen-year-old Richie against six seventeen-year-olds? They’re probably worse than fighting that damn clown in the Neibolt house. Luckily for him, he could run faster than all of them and soon, he found himself hiding in an alley downtown. Sure, a horrible place to hide, but where else was he supposed to go? Home? Then they would know his address! At least he had time to catch his breath, he can’t remember the last time he actually sprinted like this…_

Richie remembered having a nightmare after that, one that he wouldn’t forget anytime soon. 

He saw his house up in the distance, feeling some of the tension release from his body. “Thank fuck!” He yelled.

In the house, the warm air hit him instantly, and he considered resting. Of course, he can’t until he is hidden from everyone. So once he locked his bedroom door shut, he pressed his back against it, sitting down just in case anyone tried to break in. Every breath he took became more painful, his hands trembled on the floor, and he kept darting his eyes across the room to see if anyone just so happened to be there with him, watching him, waiting for him to crack, so they could hurt him.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to force himself not to cry. Then he would just be proving that he was what everyone thought he was… right?

“Come on, Trashmouth! You’re a man, act like one!” He said, scolding himself yet knowing full-well he could never be the way people said he was meant to be. 

**…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this didnt come off as fake deep or some dumb shit, and im probably gonna add another chapter since cliffhangers suck ass
> 
> (rant? sure
> 
> k where is bottom richie n top eddie? like im reading the book and im like "EDDIE NO UR STRONG BB DONT LISTEN TO UR MOM" and watching the movie like "RICHIE IM SO SORRY B URSELF PLZ FUCK HENRY" 
> 
> you cant tell me eddie should bottom when he's always being controlled by people and you cant tell me richie should top when he's clearly a big softie on the inside. with a big mouth of course.


	2. That Kid With The Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie realizes something scary...  
> (WARNING! F-slur is used and there are mild depictions of violence!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooooo!  
> This is going to be a short chapter BUT i have plans for more! I didn't want to cram this one in with the next one, plus i feel more accomplished if i post more chapters.

Sighing aloud while walking away from the hill, Eddie shook his head in disappointment. Why had Richie only been afraid of this specific situation? When facing that god-forsaken clown, able to murder any of the losers as he pleased, Richie didn’t run. Was he really afraid of just one thing? And if so, what  _ was  _ that thing? Had Richie… been embarrassed of Eddie?

_ No.  _ He thought.  _ Richie was always hanging out with losers, hell, he was a loser himself. What would he have to be embarrassed of?  _

Besides, Richie loved his friends. Especially his closest, Eddie. More than anyone knew. He wasn’t embarrassed. 

Once Eddie reached the sidewalk, he remembered that he’d seen Richie run before. From Bowers and his gang. Everyone knew that Bowers targeted Richie the most, chasing and beating him constantly. Mainly because of his loud mouth. They would laugh as he cried on the ground, huddled up in a ball with bruises forming over his arms and legs. 

**~~~**

_ “Hah! Look at the little queer, crying for his mommy,” Henry taunted as he watched the younger boy suffer, though he heard the wrong words stumble out of Richie’s mouth. This time he hadn’t even said a word to Henry, but after that moment at the arcade where Henry’s cousin accused Richie of being “weird”, he decided to take any of his anger out whenever he saw Richie. Just the mere thought of that kid near his cousin made him want to puke.  _

_ Kneeling down on the ground next to Richie as he propped himself up on his hands and knees, he spat with venom, “She’s not gonna save you. Faggots like you deserve to just lay there and rot. You’re lucky I don’t cut those fruity little guts out of you right here, I like seeing you cry like a fucking pussy instead.” _

_ Henry stood up, saying to his friends, “Let’s leave before I break the queer’s neck.” With that, they left Richie shaking and bleeding in the alley, no one to help him. He wished, for a moment, that he would look up to see his friend, reaching a hand out for him to grab. But that wish was smashed into bits and pieces when he realized that Eddie was on house arrest right now because of his mother.  _

_ He muttered a little loudly to himself, “Fucking douchebags,” while wiping blood away from under his nose. His inside voice still needed work. _

**~~~**

Oh, Eddie despised Bowers. He tried a few times before to stand up against him, but every time he failed and got socked in the face. Richie would say with a sympathetic smile,  _ “Don’t beat yourself up, Eds. You’re not weak, he’s just fucking psycho.”  _ His voice was still loud, but in a sweet way. __

A warm wave washed over his chest at that. Richie had always been the person to remind him that he wasn’t such a weak and delicate flower like his mother said he was. With his friend’s motivation, he could run faster, jump higher, speak louder. He thanked grace for that. Even if most of the time Richie would make fun of him, he wouldn’t take it seriously. In fact, sometimes it made him laugh. 

Huh. Eddie wasn’t familiar to this. Every thought of Richie felt like a weight on his chest, like a fleeting beat in his heart, like the desire to run around aimlessly until sundown. He really liked Richie. Loved him, of course. They were best friends. But… this? He heard before that this feeling was close to ones that boys felt for girls. Ben once said that he was in love with Beverly, and the feeling was something that you could only know if you’ve felt it before. Something deeper than friendship, deeper than a crush, even. 

  
“Oh my fucking God. I’m in love with fucking Richie?!” Eddie exasperated, reaching for his aspirator. He could  _ not  _ be in love with a boy- especially his best friend! Richie would never let him live this down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not... very good at keeping the characters in character. 
> 
> and i hate henry bowers. you didn't hear? oh, i'm sorry, I HATE HENRY. he's a real piece of cock. 
> 
> if you like henry, im sorry you like such a dickhead (im just kidding, dont bully me plz)


	3. Take Care, Polar Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie finds his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter this late? yes im very inconsistent

The suffocation was killing him. Unfortunately, while on his way to find Richie after he fled, Eddie’s mother had called him.

**_“Eddie, you have to get back here right now! It’s getting too late!”_ **

“Ma, the sun isn’t even down yet. And I have to find my friend, he ran off somewhere.” Eddie tried calmly explaining as he studied the sidewalk beneath his pacing feet. 

**_“Which friend? The Tozier boy?”_ **

Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing well where this was going. “Yeah,”

**_“Eddie, how many times do I have to tell you ‘that boy is trouble’? I don’t want you to follow him anywhere! What if you got hurt again because of him?”_ **

“I’ve never gotten hurt because of him!” He snapped. 

**_“Yes you have! He could hurt you easily, remember you’re fragile!”_ **

He wished he didn’t remember. Every time he heard those words, he felt like puking up all of his guts. “But what if he needs help-”

**_“So? He did it to himself. Like you said, Eddie, HE ran away.”_ **

“He’s still my friend. I want to make sure he’s okay.”

**_“It’s not your place to worry about him, Eddie! You’re more important, so you’d better come home right now before you get hurt.”_ **

“ _ I’m _ more important? Are you serious?! How could you even say that?” The woman could spit such cruel words sometimes. Maybe, off in another universe, he wouldn’t have to pretend to be somewhere else whenever the words were spoken.

**_“Yes, I’m serious! Come home!”_ **

“...No.” He said after thinking it through quickly.

**_“No?”_ **

“I’m not coming home until I find Richie.” 

**_“What?! Eddie, do you WANT to be grounded for a month?”_ **

Eddie groaned, “Fine! Ground me! See if I care,”

**_“Eddie? Eddie!”_ **

Before another word could pass through the phone, he hung up and turned it on airplane mode as to avoid any further calls. He had to make sure he wasn’t gone for long or his mother would dial up the police. This would be easy enough since Richie most likely went back home, like he said.

**…**

**Tap. Tap. Tap.**

Richie lifted his head up from his pillow, which still remained dampened with tears. 

**Tap. Tap.**

He spoke groggily, just awakened from his short-term sleep, “What the fuck- Eddie?” He went over to his window and saw one of his friends outside, fingers tapping to get his attention.

Eddie asked through the thick glass, “Can I come in?”

Richie, still squinting in confusion, nodded and opened up the window just enough for Eddie to fit through.

“What happened to you? Have you been crying?” Eddie asked, after carefully crawling through the window. Richie frowned as memories flooded back to his head, he really wished he had permanently forgotten the whole situation. “No. What happened to you? Have you been sucking too much dick?”

“Oh, fuck you,” Eddie said. “Are you going to tell me why you ran off?”

“Your mom said she only had five minutes for me to come over, so I had to cut it short to give her some of that Tozier dick.” Richie replied with a lazy grin, leaning against the wall and covering his wet pillow.

Eddie smacked Richie on the arm, and with furrowed brows he said, “I’m being serious, Richie!”

“So am I.”

“Can’t you just answer the question?”

“Fine. What’s your question, oh Lord Of Mighty Midgets?” Richie asked melodramatically, reaching over to grab his glasses stained with the streaks of water that had flown down his cheeks earlier. As he used his shirt to wipe them clean, he listened to Eddie ask, “Why did you run away?” of course ignoring the new nickname.

“I wanted to go home.”

“After people walked by?”

“No… I was just tired. Gimme a break, man. You’re busting my balls.” Richie said defensively, hearing his own voice crack mid-sentence.

“You’re lying! Remember at my fourteenth birthday party you ran off in the morning after Bev started making fun of us for falling asleep on the couch?”

“Uh- Hah! No. No, I don’t remember any of that.” Richie averted his eyes away with a laugh, clearly lying. 

Eddie smacked his hand over his forehead in frustration. “Yes you do. Anyways, you keep doing the same shit. Can’t you just tell me why?”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

“Are you embarrassed of me?” Eddie asked, wondering if that slim possibility could be true. Even if it isn’t, it might get Richie to talk. Manipulative? A bit. In fact, Eddie was a little ashamed of himself for doing so, but he was genuinely worried about his friend. He needed to hear something that wasn’t a joke or lie, at least one word.

Richie immediately locked eyes with Eddie and answered, “What? No! Of course not! Why would I be embarrassed of you?” He looked as if he were offended by the plainly absurd question.

“Because you keep running away when people see us,” Eddie said, a brow lifted in confusion. 

Richie stammered, “It’s not- that… that’s not why.”

“Then why?” Eddie asked as he crossed his arms. Finally, at least they were getting  _ somewhere.  _

“Um- no- no reason. Nope.” 

_ Never mind,  _ Eddie thought. “Bullshit.”

At this point, you could tell the taller boy’s face had flushed such a deep shade of red that he needed to hide it a little by looking the other way. “Look, I can’t tell you! It’s nothing personal against you, Spaghetti-man. I just can’t say.”

“You can always talk to me, though. I’m not going to make fun of you for telling me something, especially if it bothers you this much. Do I look like Henry to you?”

_ Fuck no, Henry is ugly as sin,  _ he thought. “I can’t tell you. Just lay off it, okay?”

Eddie sighed, feeling defeated and letting his shoulders fall. “Okay.”

“Anyways, isn’t your freakshow mom gonna yell at you for staying out too long?”

Eddie chuckled, remembering his mother probably on the phone at home with the swat team trying to calm her down. “She already did. I should probably go home before she grounds me for a year,”

“Aww, so soon? I should stop giving her the privilege to suck me off every day, she keeps taking away my Eddie-Teddy,” To a degree, Richie very much disliked Eddie’s mother. In fact, the only good thing to come out of that woman was… well, Eddie. 

“Beep beep, Richie.” Eddie laughed along with Richie. It seemed the tension had lifted significantly already. So, he felt he could leave now. As he began crawling back outside from the window, Richie yelled, “See ya later, alligator!”

“In a while, crocodile!” Eddie shouted back.

Cupping his hands around his mouth, he said even louder, “Bye bye, butterfly!”

“Catch you then, little hen!” Eddie giggled, starting to quicken his pace to reach his house sooner.

“Take care, polar bear!” Richie said, a big goofy smile on his face while waving his arm goodbye.

Eddie chuckled, letting Richie win. They got into the habit of playing a game before splitting up, whoever being the last to say a rhyme having to do with goodbye coming out victorious. 

Richie watched in a daze as his friend ran into the distance. When Eddie was out of sight, he looked over at the notebook he’d left on the ground next to a bottle of glue and some scattered photos of him and his friends. He sat up from his bed and walked over to sit in front of the notebook, picking it up to skim through the pages. 

The first page, titled “these fuckers”, was just of his friends individually, with their names being listed as something funny he’d made up. Under Bill’s picture, he wrote  _ “a-hole” _ . Under Beverly’s, he wrote  _ “molly ringwald” _ . Under Stan’s, he wrote  _ “pussy”.  _ Under Ben’s,  _ “hamburger man”.  _ Under Mike’s,  _ “big meat monday”. _

Eddie’s picture was at the bottom. He ended up writing some regrettable things which he had to scribble out, then wrote  _ “spaghetti”  _ as his nickname along with a few teasing words with arrows. 

Richie flipped the page, seeing a few old photos of him and his friends taking pictures in a photo booth. The page after had pictures of when he and Beverly wrote on everyone’s faces while they were asleep. Skipping through some pages, one had caught his eye. A while back, he got all the pictures he had of just him and Eddie, then glued them to the page. He wrote and drew little doodles around the pictures, even going as far as to draw hearts but, again, had scribbled them out. Not very well, though. He stared at a particular photo, one of Eddie looking at the camera with a slight frown, dismayed at the picture being taken of him. Richie smiled.

“Asshole,” He mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love cheesy songs  
> they're so cute, how can a person not feel happy listening to them? like listen to "Darling I Do" and tell me you felt nothing with a straight face


End file.
